More Helpful Than You Think!

People always say that a good article is always revised thousands of times. Sometimes it is hard for ourselves to find our own mistakes, so it is a good choice to go to writing center to get some professional opinions. As I expected, my paper had numerous problems, either in grammar part or contents. Writing center is helpful for students, and I will come to writing center when I feel stuck or when I feel my paper is perfect in the future.

Firstly, I corrected my little grammar mistakes, and I learned much about punctuations. When Ms. Swift and I were reading the passage, we could hardly find even two consecutive correct sentences. To be honest, I counted my grammar mistakes in my introduction paragraph; I had six mistakes. Fortunately, they were small mistakes, and I could easily find them. However, I have more serious problems in punctuations, especially the use of semicolons. I always used semicolons instead of periods in my paper, but Ms. Swift told me that was not right. I was surprised, because I had always been telling to write sentences as long as I could. However, Ms. Swift told me that when the two sentences were not related, I should end the sentences. In short, it is helpful to come to writing center when I have grammar issues.

Secondly, Ms. Swift and I also talked about the ideas of my paper, and she suggested me to analyze more and not to repeat one thing over and over again. I have a big issue on the balance between analysis and performance, which means I have too much performance interpretation in my paper. Then Ms. Swift suggested me to analyze the lines we picked, because I did not do it at all. I only analyzed the ridicules of the story and the immaturity of the Romeo. About the lines, I only mentioned them as evidences to support my two points. Moreover, I only had a few more than 1,500 words, and I should write more. Thus, it was a good choice for me to add more analysis about the lines. In addition, Ms. Swift also told me a big problem in my paper; I kept repeating the same things. For example, I used the words, “funny” and “hilarious”, many times, but actually I had to use more new words. Therefore, I would work on revising my words. Consequently, I also got several good advice on the contents of my paper.

In the future, I will go to writing center when I feel stuck or when I finish checking my paper on my own. Firstly, Ms. Swift can help me to improve my ideas. When I was writing this paper, I felt I had no more to write. However, Ms. Swift gave me a good advice, which was to analyze the lines. Thus, I’ll go to writing center when I feel stuck. Secondly, this time, when Ms. Swift and I were going over the paper, I found so many simple grammar mistakes. Then we spent some time on correcting them. If I checked my paper by myself first, it would save us much time. Therefore, next time I will go to writing center after I go over my paper on my own. In summary, in the future, I will focus more on revising the contents of my paper, so I will go to writing center when I have troubles on thinking up ideas or after I check my little grammar mistakes.

 In conclusion, it is good to have a writing center in our school. I actually can get more help than I think, either on grammars or ideas. I think ideas are important, so in the future, I will go talk to Ms. Swift when I cannot think up a good point. Also, I will go to the writing center after I finish writing the paper and checking the grammar mistakes, because I wish to get more feedback on my contents, not only on grammars. 

Fairytale Dream

Almost every child dreams to fly, and almost every girl dreams that one day she can be a princess. People love fairytales, because they give us a chance to dream. Peter Pan was a fairytale that was about fairytale. Most people have watched the Disney version of Peter Pan, but yesterday’s play was the original version. The actors’ professional acting impressed me, but the stage actually was not as good as other things. 

Firstly, some of the designs were so clever, and the actors were so skillfu. Before I went to the show, I already knew this Peter Pan was not the Disney Peter Pan, and I was so curious about this original version. How could it be possible to fly in Black box? Actually, the actors did not have to fly, instead, they jumped to the backstage. This was smart, but this also required more acting skills. The actors must act extremely professional to make the audience believe they were truly flying, and Wiebke, Amalia, Maddy, and Erin did a really good job. Also, Charlotte literally surprised me. Her acting was detailed and real. At the beginning of the play, she was walking around and tidying up the house. The way she swept flicked the cupboard made me believe she was really the mistress. Consequently, the actors’ excellent performance was one of the most important reasons of why this show was successful. 

Secondly, even though some of the stagings were smart, the facilities in Black Box was a little flaw. When I was watching the play, I noticed that when the settings changed, the stage crews just covered the cupboard and the window by some simple decorations. To be honest, I do not think this worked well. The audience still recognized everything, and this made the stage messier. However, if Black Box was bigger, we could have some curtains which would separate the different settings. Even if the facilities were not perfect, the show was still an excellent play. 

In conclusion, after I performed Romeo and Juliet, I understood how hard it is to be a good actor. When I watched the play, I was truly impressed by those actors. However, if Black Box becomes bigger, the show will be better. 

Second Draft

Olivia Cao

Ms. Guarino

IB Literature and Performance SL

12 November 2015

Have you ever thought that someday one of the most classic tragedy become a modern comedy? Or have you thought about a different way for Juliet to say:"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore thee art Romeo?" When people mention Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet always comes into mind immediately. Romeo and Juliet was written in the early career of Shakespeare, but it is one of the most well-known tragedy in the world. When people think of Romeo and Juliet, they always feel mournful about the pitiful and romantic story. However, Romance is not the only identity of Romeo and Juliet; in modern people’s eyes, this story is more unrealistic. To show an unique side of this classic play, we directed a comedy version of Romeo and Juliet. We picked three significant scenes: Act 1 scene 5(the scene that they first meet); Act 2 scene 2(the balcony scene, which is the most romantic scene); Act 3 scene 1(the fighting scene, which is a big turning point). Unlike most of the tragedy versions of Romeo and Juliet, our scene showed the sarcastic side of their love and extreme immaturity of Romeo from a modern perspective; to achieve the goals, we staged the scene in modern times, designed a more personality for Juliet, and used contrasting and exaggerated music.

If we looked this tragedy through a modern person’s eyes, we would see this love story was so ridiculous that it would never happen . In the first scene, Romeo and Juliet met in a loud club. Logically, no one looks for his true love in a club, but Romeo did. Also, it was almost impossible to fall in love with someone in such a short time. In the scene, Romeo and Juliet were no longer shy and naive; both of them enjoyed the party. Romeo was attracted by Juliet’s beauty, and he came to flirt with her. Juliet acted frivolous and flirted back. Due to we could not change the lines, the actors had to act the emotions. For example, Juliet acted frivolous when she said:“Saints do not move”, and after Romeo kissed Juliet, he just winked at his friends, like exactly what jerks did. Thus, since they first met, it was a mistake. Moreover, in the balcony scene, Romeo went to Capulets’ house to find Juliet. When Juliet told him the place was dangerous and people would kill him, he said that: “The kinsmen no stop to me!” However, when nurse called Juliet, Romeo was extremely terrified. He hid under the table and put his hands over his ears. His love was so changeable, he did not love Juliet that much. We exaggerated the characteristics to show that their love was not pure and real. In summary, from a modern perspective, this story was not logical, and it would never happen in real life. 

Secondly, this play also showed Romeo’s immature personalities and behaviors. No matter in the original version or our adapted version, Romeo was always immature, but in this comedy version, we emphasized his personalities. Also, there was a contrast of Romeo and Juliet. In the first scene, Romeo and Juliet both played with each other. In another word, they were the same kind of people. However, in the second scene, Juliet changed; she started to be mature after she fell in love with Romeo. Juliet acted more normal in the balcony scene, but Romeo just remained the same. For instance, when Juliet was complaining Romeo’s family name and how hard their love was, Romeo was so hotheaded that he said: “I take thy word! I never will be Romeo. ” Romeo denied his name without even one-second-thinking, and he climbed on the balcony immediately. Love was the only thing in Romeo’s eyes, and he could easily abandon his family. Also, the actor acted hyperbolically while he was speaking the lines and climbing, and this clearly showed Romeo’s immature personality. Moreover, in the last fighting scene, when Tybalt and Mercutio were about fight, Romeo came, which was a extremely bad time. Then, Romeo tried to convince Mercutio and Tybalt to drop their weapons, however he did not help at all. The irony plot was when Romeo started his long “lecture style speech”, Tybalt and Mercutio almost fell asleep. Then, when Tybalt and Mercutio were fighting, he did not help, but yelled at them. This series of actions showed that Romeo was still a naive teenager, he did not know how to handle his life or deal with troubles. In addition, Mercutio also reflected Romeo’s characteristics. People always say that friends are like mirrors; you can see yourself through them. Before the fight, Mercutio acted brave; he even described Tybalt as a “ratcatcher”. However, when he was stabbed, he cried, and he blamed on Romeo. This was exactly what Romeo did in the balcony scene. What he said and what he finally did were totally different. From Romeo’s friend, Mercutio, the audience was able to see how immature Romeo was. Consequently, Romeo’s sarcastic side was what we wanted to show the audience, and we achieved this goal successfully. 

To adopt a classic romantic tragedy to a modern comedy, we had to change the settings and the characteristics of Juliet. Firstly, we changed the stage from Middle Ages to modern time. For example, when Romeo and Juliet first met, they met in a club, instead of in a party. Also, the actors wore modern clothes, instead of Middle ages costumes. Secondly, we added funny plots as many as possible. For instance, in the original version, nobody could see each other's faces clearly in the party, and this was romantic. However, in the club, they could not hear each other, and this change made the scene so hilarious. Also, in the balcony scene, Romeo climbed on the balcony, which was so funny. He looked around while he was climbing exaggeratedly, and he was not good-looking at all. Thirdly, we also changed Juliet’s personality; Juliet became more sociable and flighty. In the first scene, Juliet and Romeo were in a club. Both of them were dancing exaggeratedly. Romeo was attracted by Juliet’s beauty, and he went to Juliet and flirted with her. If you were watching a normal version, Juliet must act shy, however, in our comedy, Juliet just flirted back. Juliet was always in clubs; she knew this badly. This setting was a huge difference from the original version. Consequently, these huge changes on stage and characters actually made the play more funny and unique.

Music also played an important role in our scene. It reminded the audience the settings, and we also changed the relaxing and the intense music to show the atmosphere and the contrasts. First of all, we used music to show our settings. For instance, our first scene was staged in a loud club. However we could not really go to a club, and we could barely change the stage in the theatre. If we only danced on the stage, the audience must feel bored and confused. Then we came up an idea that we used a loud club song to show our settings. It worked well, with the actors’ exaggerated dancing, some people under the stage even shook their heads. Secondly, the change of the songs was an important highlight in our scene. In the fighting scene, when Tybalt and Mercutio were quarreling, the music was so intense. However, when Romeo came, exactly when he started his “speech”, the music suddenly was changed to a extremely relaxing music. Moreover, the music was well-known; it was one of the songs in Sponge Bob, the cartoon. This song emphasized how funny Romeo was; Tybalt and Mercutio almost acted they almost fell asleep. Then, when Romeo finished his long “speech”, the intense music was suddenly changed back. This actually woke Tybalt and Mercutio up, and they got ready to fight immediately. Also, when Tybalt stabbed Mercutio, the music became relaxing again. With the hilarious music, almost everyone laughed. In short, music did not only show people the settings, but also made our scene funnier, especially the change between intense and relaxing music. 

In conclusion, to show exactly their feelings to the audience is one of the most important task for directors. I thought it was ridiculous and sarcastic when I read the story of Romeo and Juliet, and I want to show my idea to more people. I tried to break the tragedy and adopt it to a comedy. In our scene, our group showed the sarcastic side of the story and the immaturity of Romeo. To adopt a successful comedy, a good stage was necessary. To show a modern perspective, we staged the scene in modern time; to show a contrast between Romeo and Juliet, we designed a new rebel characteristic for Juliet. Also, music was a big part in the scene. It was used to show the settings, and we also showed the funny side of the fighting scene by using the contrasting music. This comedy version was not only funny, it also showed a unique sarcastic perspective of Romeo and Juliet. 

A Body Paragraph

       To adopt a classic romantic tragedy to a modern comedy, we had to change the settings and the characteristics of Juliet. Firstly, we changed the stage from Middle Ages to modern time. For example, when Romeo and Juliet first met, they met in a club, instead of in a party. Also, the actors wore modern clothes, instead of Middle ages costumes. Secondly, we added funny plots as many as possible. For instance, in the original version, nobody could see each other's faces clearly in the party, and this was romantic. However, in the club, they could not hear each other, and this change made the scene so hilarious. Also, in the balcony scene, Romeo climbed on the balcony, which was so funny. He looked around while he was climbing exaggeratedly, and he was not good-looking at all. Thirdly, we also changed Juliet’s personality; Juliet became more sociable and flighty. In the first scene, Juliet and Romeo were in a club. Both of them were dancing exaggeratedly. Romeo was attracted by Juliet’s beauty, and he went to Juliet and flirted with her. If you were watching a normal version, Juliet must act shy, however, in our comedy, Juliet just flirted back. Juliet was always in clubs; she knew this badly. This setting was a huge difference from the original version. Consequently, these huge changes on stage and characters actually made the play more funny and unique. 

UPDATED OUTLINE: 

-Introduction

-Stage: introduce the stage and the change of the characteristics.

-Stage: the contrasting music.

-Analysis: unrealistic and sarcastic side of the classic love story. ( mention first two scenes)

-Analysis: immaturity of Romeo. ( mention all of the three scenes)

-Conclusion 

REVISED THESIS: 

 Unlike most of the tragedy version of Romeo and Juliet, our scene showed the sarcastic side of their love and extreme immaturity of Romeo from a modern perspective; to achieve the goals, we staged the scene in modern times, changed identity of Juliet to a modern teenage girl, and used contrasting and exaggerated music.

a question:

Can I write the body paragraphs by the order of our scenes? (analysis and stage are together)

Thesis&Outline

Thesis: Unlike most of the tragedy version of Romeo and Juliet, our scene showed the sarcastic side of their love and extreme immaturity of Romeo from a modern perspective; to achieve the goals, we staged the scene in modern times, changed characteristics of Juliet, and used contrasting and exaggerated music.

Outline:
-Introduction
-Stage: introduce the stage and the change of the characteristics.
-Stage: the contrasting music.
-Analysis: unrealistic and sarcastic side of the classic love story. ( mention first two scenes)
-Analysis: immaturity of Romeo. ( mention all of the three scenes)
-Conclusion

First Draft

Sarcastic Comedy

Outline: 

• Thesis: A love story can be sarcastic; a prince can be a coward; a comedy can also be meaningful. 
• Introduction
• It is an unrealistic and sarcastic story; how to show this in our performance. 
• Romeo’s immaturity; how to show this in our play. 
• Explain how we made the scene funny. Give details. 
• Expand the importance of music
• Conclusion

When people mention Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet always comes into mind immediately. Romeo and Juliet was written in the early career of Shakespeare, but it is one of the most well-known tragedy in the world. When people think of Romeo and Juliet, they always feel mournful about the pitiful and romantic story. However, Romance is not the only identity of Romeo and Juliet; in modern people’s eyes, this story is more unrealistic. To show an unique side of this classic play, we directed a comedy version of Romeo and Juliet. We picked three significant scenes: Act 1 scene 5(the scene that they first meet); Act 2 scene 2(the balcony scene, which is the most romantic scene); Act 3 scene 1(the fighting scene, which is a big turning point). We used A love story can be sarcastic; a prince can be a coward; a comedy can be meaningful; simple music can also play an important role. 

To fully show how unrealistic the story is in modern people’s eyes, a modern setting and funny plots are necessary. The whole scene was set in modern time, instead of middle ages. In the first scene, Romeo and Juliet met in a loud club. Logically, no one looks for his true love in a club, but Romeo did. Also, it was almost impossible to fall in love with someone in such a short time. In the scene, Romeo and Juliet were no longer shy and naive; both of them enjoyed the party. Romeo was attracted by Juliet’s beauty, and he came to flirt with her. Juliet acted frivolous and flirted back. Due to we could not change the lines, the actors had to act the emotions. For example, Juliet acted frivolous when she said:“Saints do not move”, and after Romeo kissed Juliet, he just winked at his friends, like exactly what jerks did. Thus, since they first met, it was a mistake. Moreover, in the balcony scene, Romeo went to Capulets’ house to find Juliet. When Juliet told him the place was dangerous and people would kill him, he said that: “The kinsmen no stop to me!” However, when nurse called Juliet, Romeo was extremely terrified. He hid under the table and put his hands over his ears. His love was so changeable, he did not love Juliet that much. The different characteristics of Romeo and Juliet actually satirized the story; their love was not pure and real. In summary, from a modern perspective, this story was not logical, and it would never happen. 

Secondly, this play also showed Romeo’s immature personalities and behaviors. No matter in the original version or our adapted version, Romeo was always immature, but in this comedy version, we emphasized his immaturity. Also, there was a contrast of Romeo and Juliet. In the first scene, Romeo and Juliet both played with each other. In another word, they were the same kind of people. However, in the second scene, Juliet changed; she started to be mature after she fell in love with Romeo. Juliet acted more normal in the balcony scene, but Romeo just remained the same. For instance, when Juliet was complaining Romeo’s family name and how hard their love was, Romeo was so hotheaded that he said: “I take thy word! I never will be Romeo. ” Romeo denied his name without even one-second-thinking, and he climbed on the balcony immediately. Love was the only thing in Romeo’s eyes, and he could easily abandon his family. Also, the actor acted hyperbolically while he was speaking the lines and climbing, and this clearly showed Romeo’s immature personality. Moreover, in the last fighting scene, when Tybalt and Mercutio were about fight, Romeo came, which was extremely bad time. Then, Romeo tried to convince Mercutio and Tybalt to drop their weapons, however he did not help at all. The irony plot was when Romeo started his long “lecture style speech”, Tybalt and Mercutio almost fell asleep. Then, when Tybalt and Mercutio were fighting, he did not help, but yelled at them. This series of actions showed that Romeo was still a naive teenager, he did not know how to handle his life or deal with troubles. In addition, Mercutio also reflected Romeo’s characteristics. People always say that friends are like mirrors; you can see yourself through them. Before the fight, Mercutio acted brave; he even described Tybalt as a “ratcatcher”. However, when he was stabbed, he cried, and he blamed on Romeo. This was exactly what Romeo did in the balcony scene. What he said and what he finally did were totally different. From Romeo’s friend, Mercutio, the audience was able to see how immature Romeo was. Consequently, Romeo’s sarcastic side was what we wanted to show the audience, and we achieved this goal successfully. 

Not Just A Comedy

This comedy version of Romeo and Juliet is the most successful project I have done for this class. When we watched the videos, even ourselves felt so impressive and funny. The main purpose of this project was to make the scene funny and show the sarcasm of this classic love story. Compare to our first rehearsal, it was much better after we made some change. From this project, I learned many performance skills, and I also realized my problems. 

The performance was successful, because we achieved our goals——making it funny and sarcastic. As a comedy, the performance must be hilarious, and we also added sarcasm elements to the comedy. We showed how ridiculous this love story was in modern people’s eyes, and we also showed Romeo’s immaturity. For example, their first meeting was a mistake. They met in a club, and Romeo was just attracted by Juliet’s face. Their love was not true, and it would not last long. Moreover, we also satirized Romeo. Romeo was such an immature person. The things what he said and what he did were totally different, and his love to Juliet was not that sincere. For instance, in the balcony scene, Romeo acted so brave that he was not scared of death at all. However, when the nurse called Juliet, he just went hide under the desk immediately. He actually was not as brave as he said. In addition, when Romeo tried to stop the fight between Mercutio and Tybalt, he just used a “lecture style”, which did not help anything, but made Merutio and Tybalt bored. Consequently, even though this performance was a comedy, I think we were more successful on creating a such immature Romeo. 

Music also played an important role in this scene. When we were performing different scenes, the music was always changing. Firstly, music helped the audience understand the settings. We set our first scene in a club, and Juliet could not even hear Romeo. If we only perform without the music, the audience would not be able to understand what we were doing. Secondly, the music also underlined the intense or the relaxing atmosphere. In the fighting scene, we have two songs. One is intense; one is relaxing. When Tybalt and Mercutio were quarreling, the intense music just made the scene more real. Since Romeo started his “lecture”, we changed the song to a soft song. Once Romeo finished talking, the intense music was playing again. When Mercutio was dying, the soft music was playing again. The change of songs made the scene so funny, and I think this was the smartest idea in our performance. In summary, without music, it would be harder for audience to understand the scene, and the whole performance would be less hilarious. 

Compare to our first rehearsal, our scene was much better this time, and I also improved my own performing abilities. Firstly, when we first rehearsed our scene, the music was too loud. We watched our first video together, but we could hardly hear ourselves, because the music was too loud. This time, we fixed this problem, and we put the speaker close to us, not to the audience. Secondly, memorizing the lines was helpful for us to make more body movements. After the first draft, we realized that memorizing the lines could make our scene better. Even though we still held the paper while we were performing, we could say most of the lines without looking at the scripts. This literally made our scene smoother. In addition, I learned a lot when I was doing this project. To make a funny comedy, I watched many videos. I found acting was really important, and body movements were important for acting. Then I tried to memorize the lines and made more movements when I was talking to myself in the balcony scene. However, it was not successful; I kept forgetting my lines, because I was nervous. Also, I found that I was not good at acting; I could hardly get the right emotions of the characters. Or even if I knew what emotion I should express, I just could not act that way, so I have to work on my acting. In short, after fixing our problems, I was so satisfied with our final performance, even though my acting was still not good, at least I learned things from the project. 

In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, our scene was successful. We made it funny, and we also showed our analysis about the story and Romeo in our scene. I really learned much from this project. From researching to performing, everything had to be done by ourselves. I was not good at acting, but I was trying hard. I will keep working hard on improving my acting skills. 

First Draft Reflection

First of all, I think our first draft was successful, and everybody in our group did excellent job. We actually did stage the scenes through modern people's eyes, and we showed how funny and unrealistic the story was. Juliet and Romeo met in a club; both of them just wanted to play with each other. We made the balcony scene funny to make the audience believe that the scene is neither romantic nor realistic at all. Also, we showed how immature and funny Romeo was. In the balcony scene, Romeo said he loved Juliet and he was not afraid of death at all. However, when the nurse called Juliet, he was just so scared that he even hided under the desk. Moreover, in the fighting scene, we also showed how immature Romeo was, and we made the fight like a fight between little children. When Mercutio and Tybalt were fighting, Romeo just tried to convince them by saying beautiful words. His words did not help anything, but made Tybalt and Mercutio bored. After Romeo's long "lecture", Tybalt and Mercutio fought. The fight was also very funny. Mercutio said he was brave, but when he was stabbed, he was scared. He even cried. Our use of relaxing music actually made this plot more sarcastic and funnier. In addition, when Romeo killed Tybalt, he was horrified. He thought he was brave, but when he actually killed a person, he just ran away, like exactly what little kids do.

Secondly, there is a personal issue; I have to work on my acting. I tried many times, and I still cannot express the right emotion, especially while I am speaking the lines. Thus, I have to keep thinking how to make Juliet funny. Also, I always have a problem that when I am nervous, I cannot read the lines fluently. When I was acting today, I had this problem again. Even though I read it thousands times when I was practicing. Therefore, I think I should try to relax and practice more before videoing.

Thirdly, I think there are also several little problems that we should work on. Firstly, the music was too loud, and we were not speaking very loud. When we were watching our videos, we could hardly hear ourselves. Thus, when we perform it again, I will make sure the music sound does not drown out our voices. Moreover, when we are watching the videos, we found we lacked body movements when we were reading the lines, because we had to hold the scripts. Thus, it might be better to memorize our lines.

Class analysis

In this scene, our group use set the scene in modern time, and we will show people how unrealistic the story is. First of all, I want to talk about how Juliet changes. In our first or second scene, Juliet seems like a rebel or outgoing girl who often goes to clubs. Even in balcony scene, she is still cripy. Then in the last scene, she actually changes into a sad and mature girl. Her costumes can actually show this big contrast. However, the sad thing is Romeo barely changes. He says he loves Juliet, but what he does can only hurt Juliet, so we let the fight scene end the play. Second, I want to show how funny modern people think the story is. It is so hard to fall in love with someone that quick, especially in a party. We set the scene that they first meet in a crowded club with loud music, and Juliet can hardly hear what Romeo says. Thus, in this scene, the funniest thing is Romeo and Juliet just say "what?" and repeat their sentences again and again. Moreover, Juliet is immature and rebel that time, so she just behaves very funny. For instance, when Romeo tries to play her, she also flirts back.